"I wish I hadn't got cancer when I was little"

These words came from Benjamin Nökkvi just a moment ago and the sorrow exploded inside the mom . Benjamin has recently started thinking and speculating a lot about life - he is also turning 8 years this summer and has got the cognitive ability to understand that not everybody has been sick in cancer, have gotten through two bone-marrow transplants, been anethesiazed over 200 times,  had several internal bleedings, and had so many blood-tests that one will never be able to count them. He also knows that we had to move from Iceland to Sweden last summer i a trial to cure his lung-disease - and he is now starting to feel the isolation he has to live with, because of how immune-suppressed he is, and for the first time I (the mom) heard my overly positive, "happy go lucky" guy, talk about that life was a little bit unfear to him!!!! The "MothersHeart" feels smashed and squeezed, but still you continue trying to hold the head high, listening, smiling to him and do your best answering all his speculations - inside the soul cries when you get the question "Mom, are you sure I will never get cancer again??". 

Yepp, life can be tough and harsh, and surely it is extremely painful hearing all of Benjamins speculations - but though so beautiful that our MIRACLE talks about his thoughts, settles with my "half-lame" answers, and then continous asking getting his Mohawk done (with a lot of gel!!!), watching the English, Spanish, and Italian leagues in soccer, play FIFA in his Play Station, and laughs his wonderful unstoppable, laughter over the smallest things in life. A laughter that gets everybody else to smile and laugh. Children's adaptability is exceptional and I admire Benjamin Nökkvi, Hrafnhildur Tekla, and Nikulas Ingi, over how they have tackled living a life with illness constantly hanging over their heads, for seven and a half year now, and still they have and show so much joy and happiness living their life. THEY ARE MY HEROES AND ROLE MODELS IN LIFE

The Mom

 

Athugasemdir

[Andrea (IP-tala skráð) 13.3.2011 kl. 17:15]

Ég vona að þessa pælingar hjá Benjamíni séu bara tímabundnar og að hann fái góða skapið sitt til baka. Aðstæður ykkar eru alveg rosalega erfiðar og maður getur ekki einu sinni ímyndað sér hvernig lífið hefur verið hjá ykkur síðustu ár, en eitt veit ég, þið gefist aldrei upp.

Allavega óska ég ykkur góðs gengis og alls hins besta.

Kveðja Andrea.

[Sólveig (IP-tala skráð) 17.3.2011 kl. 14:26]

Úbbs, ekki skrítið að hann spekuleri og það dálítið djúpt barn með þessa reynslu og það er örugglega hrikalegt að halda andlitinu og reyna að útskýra ástandið.  Ekki síður en spurningarnar í Aravísunum forðum.

Sendi ykkur kærleikskveðjur og óskir um góða daga og bata fyrir Benjamín Nökkva

frá Sólveigu